despite and because

I cannot be
what you have lost
and you may not be
what I never had

but still I long
just to hold your hand
just to walk beside you
on the less-walked path

because walking beside you
I am in my place
because dancing beside you
I can truly dance

despite and because
of your depth and dark
despite and because
of your shameless voice
despite and because
of your heartbreak face:

when you are dreaming
you are just so beautiful
that I want to die
since I may not touch

First published in my chapbook q finger (PressPress, March 2011).