I wish I was a gay man


I wish I was a gay man and you were my straight brother

We’d shoot pool and drink and scan for talent
You’d tell me about your girls
and I’d tell you about my boys
I’d steal your nail polish and eyeliner
and borrow all your books

I wish I was a gay man
because gay boys fuck
Sharp eyes, long limbs,
skin, sweat, strength

I wouldn’t have a vagina,
that unfillable unnamable space

I’d have a willy,
a peter, a dick
A big insertable clit
that I could thrust and thrust
until it screamed its silent scream

embraced by his hot flesh
His nails in my contracting buttocks
My left hand on his tense right pec
My right on his straining cock

Then my lips on the back of his velvet neck

and after a while
we’d switch positions
and give each other the same,
identical, equal

ignoring everything


You smell like desire
     but that wasn’t it
Your skin is… a sacrament
     but that wasn’t it
You made beautiful sounds when I
licked your beautiful cock
     but that wasn’t it
And you touched me as I touch
     but that wasn’t it,
     not at all

If, holding back nothing, no language, I express
the analogies and abstractions of this consciousness,
your eyes stay with me; you don’t shuffle or shift
or request I repeat or rephrase —
     but that wasn’t it,
     not really

I just thought
it might be good
to sit with you quietly
not even touching
staring at nothing
ignoring everything
but the music

flicking ass in new live leather


Hands — the iron quin-dents
of an automaton goddess
sunk in an ocean of detritus and potential

her exoskeleton rusting,
her nylon hair eaten by fishes
— the small attrition of little mouths —
her video eyes scored by salt
her vinyl feet twisting and twitching, unfinned
her neural nets dreaming, searching, waiting

for the idea,
the belief,
the energy field,

that will fuse her legs
and make her a real girl,
take her free-swimming

flicking ass in new live leather
power-tailed to the waist
hair hair streaming
blood-heart beating
celled skin feeling
tendonned arms cleaving the tainted water
ten printed fingers gathering magic.